being öko is hard| Day 4/365

I have a basic idea of what is happening in the world sustainability-wise. There is enough knowledge on what we should do, but I don’t understand how exactly we are gonna do it. Kurzgesagt, I think it’s not fair that the “they” would just put us in this position like we have ruined the world and now our behaviour will make a difference. Maybe it will, but not when you just offer a “sustainable” option on top.

But what I really want to talk about is my daily struggles. Yes, they have succeeded into making me feel guilty. I feel guilty eating meat, wearing polyester, forgetting my eco-bag, not choosing a ridiculously expensive train ride over a flixbus. And the vice of them all: I love clothes. Shoes, bags, books, pens, sketchbooks I will never use, stuff. I am materialistic. As fuck. Am I a minimalist because I am obsessed with having precise purpose for everything that I own; or am I a maximalist because I seem to find a lot of things that serve me?

I tried and failed many times to be the perfect, okay just decent, öko girl (öko is eco, but I like how öko sounds). But scratch that idea that something not perfect is bad. It’s not just black and white. Don’t give up entirely if you think you can’t commit to a sustainable lifestyle. Just take a moment to contemplate before making a decision and do what feels right to you because more often than not, I am better than my habits.

Maybe we should just be more materialistic, in a sense that we appreciate and cherish our belongings. Maybe we should take great care into choosing what we’re gonna own, and love it more. Buying an H&M shirt to wear it twice and donate later, is that what materialism is; and getting a plain white tee that you don’t actually need just because it’s “sustainable”, is that what sustainability is? Guys, let’s be better than that. Let’s be mindful, let’s think before we buy it. It looks nice on me; I saw it on Tanya’s vlog, it’s cute; it’s an investment piece, I’ll sell it later if I don’t like it. These should not be our thought process. It’s not good enough. It’s not worth the water.

If I can’t be öko, I’ll just be materialistic. And be damn good at it.